Unfamiliar Emotions
by padasigh
Summary: Castiel is confused. The angel isn't sure what this feeling is, but he knows that he's craving something and he wants an explanation


**A/N: I got a pretty great response from the first Destiel fic that I posted - even though that was probably due to my consistent nagging on Twitter - so I decided to write another one. I think I'm starting to like Supernatural more than Glee. Wow. Shh! Don't tell the others.**

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Castiel was confused.

Granted, confusion was an emotion that Castiel knew very well since he became human, but this time he was pretty much hopeless. He was hopelessly confused and he needed help, but he didn't think he would receive any.

At times like these, when Castiel's confusion was something that he could not deal with on his own, the angel would turn to Dean. But, in this case, Dean was not an option for Castiel's mental relief. Castiel's only other options were Bobby or Sam.

Bobby was out of the question. Castiel was far from close to the man and they had rarely spoken one-on-one. Besides, Castiel wasn't sure that Bobby could enlighten him in the way that Castiel needed to be enlightened. So, yes, Bobby was not an option. That only left Sam, and Castiel inwardly argued with himself over borrowing Sam's time for a simple problem of his own that would only amuse the man. But, again, he was out of options, so Sam was his last resort.

"Sam?" Castiel voiced from the back of the Impala. They were driving to Bobby's at the moment after finishing their last job.

"Yeah?"

"I need your help." Castiel announced, noting the confusion that laced through Sam's features. Castiel also noted the confused - jealous, maybe? - look that crossed Dean's face, but didn't comment.

"Okay?" Sam said, his confusion also evident in his voice. Castiel nodded.

"It will only be for a moment." Castiel said, and with that, he grabbed Sam's shoulder and they were now standing on a road in what looked to be the middle of nowhere.

"Uh, Cas? Where are we?" Sam asked, the same confused look and tone as before still present.

"We're on a road." Castiel said, and before Sam could ask for more information, he spoke again.

"I need your help."

"Yes, I know. What do you need my help with? And why didn't you just ask Dean?" Sam asked, his confusion growing with every word.

"It's about Dean. I'm confused about Dean."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't understand my emotions. I'm not used to having these emotions."

"What emotions?"

"Look, Sam, I have a bond with both of you. I've told you before that I have a more profound bond with Dean. That isn't untrue; I do feel closer to him and I always have. But it's not just a bond anymore. I don't know what it is, actually." Castiel said, hoping it would clear a few things up for Sam. Sam nodded, looking a lot less confused.

"Well, what do you feel that you don't understand?" Sam asked. Castiel thought for a moment.

"It doesn't feel normal to me. It feels like this warmth in my body, like my vessel's heart is about to fall out. It's not unpleasant or painful, but it's strange. I feel close to both of you and you're both my family, but I've never wanted to have physical contact with anyone. Sure, a hug once in a while as a sign of family or brotherhood with you is not unwanted. But I want - no, I crave physical affection from Dean that is beyond a hug." Castiel explained.

Sam looked as though many emotions were running through his head. Amusement was very clear, to Castiel's dismay, but so was understanding and compassion, which prevented the angel from simply flying away.

"You love him," Sam said after a few moments of silence. "That warm emotion that you feel is love. You love Dean."

"I love all of my brothers." Castiel said, bewildered.

"Yes, you love all of your brothers, you love me. But you aren't _in love_ with us. You just _love _us. It's a different kind of love."

"What do I do about it? How can I get the ache to go away?" Castiel asked, looking for a solution. Sam seemed to be contemplating this, as well.

"Well, for starters, you could tell Dean how you feel. I think he feels the same." Sam said after a few moments, the amusement back on his face.

"Are you lying to me? You seem humored." Castiel asked, suspicious. Sam shook his head.

"I just think it's funny that it took you this long to realize it." Sam said.

"How do you know that Dean feels the same?" Castiel asked.

* * *

_"I don't know, Sammy. He's a freaking angel. He loves God and that's it." Dean said, rubbing his forehead in frustration._

_"I think you're wrong." Sam said, plopping down on his bed in the motel room. Castiel was out, looking for the Wendigo that they were hunting, and Dean had finally admitted what he had been holding in._

_"Listen, it took me a while to get to the point where I could accept this whole thing. But I've also accepted that he doesn't feel the same. Stop pressuring me to tell him. I'm not messing up the only contact that I have with the guy." Dean said, finality evident in his voice._

_"Don't be such a jerk, Dean. Tell him how you feel." _

_"No. Shut up, bitch."_

_"Dean-"_

_"Leave it alone, Sammy. Toss me a beer, I don't want to talk about this anymore."_

* * *

"And this happened while I was gone?" Castiel questioned. Sam nodded.

"Just... Don't tell him if you don't want to. But do what feels right." Sam pleaded. Castiel nodded after a few minutes and put his hand on Sam's shoulder, sending them back to the Impala.

Dean looked angry with being left out of the conversation and Castiel thought back to what Sam had asked of him, of how Sam told him to do what feels right. So, in an attempt to comfort a thoroughly annoyed Dean, Castiel put his hand on Sam's shoulder, switching their positions. Sam was now sitting in the back of the Impala and Castiel was in the passenger seat, right beside Dean. This confused the older Winchester, but he didn't comment on it and Castiel noticed that the look of anger wasn't gone from his face. In a second attempt to rid Dean of his frustration, the angel reached over to Dean's thigh and rested his hand there, squeezing lightly. This action seemed to shock Dean and turned his confused - albeit hopeful - gaze to Castiel.

"Uh, what's up?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head.

"Nothing's 'up', Dean. I'm just doing what feels right." Castiel said, quoting Sam in an attempt to relieve Dean of his confusion. It was unsuccessful, though, and actually made him even more confused, Castiel summed up based on the look that crossed Dean's face.

"What did I miss from your lady chat?" Dean asked, this question directed at Sam. Before Sam could answer, Castiel was speaking.

"I needed help from Sam about an emotion that I had about you. He provided the correct help and now I know what that emotion is." Castiel said. Dean's eyes widened and he turned to Castiel.

"What, uh, what emotion is it?" Dean asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Love. Well, not love, I mean, I love all of my brothers and I love Sam, but Sam explained that it wasn't just love, that I am in love." Castiel replied. This seemed to do away with Dean's confusion, which Castiel was thankful for. Dean stared at the angel for a long moment before slowing the car down and pulling over.

"Okay, Sam, I think you need to drive. Cas and I have a few things to discuss." Dean said.

Castiel was worried that he said the wrong thing for a moment, but the worry faded away when he noticed the smile that was on Dean's face. Sam nodded from his position in the back seat and got out of the car, taking Dean's spot. Castiel transported himself to the backseat and turned towards Dean to begin their 'discussion', but found himself being pressed against the door and kissed before he could say a word.

Castiel responded to the kiss as well as he could, his body seeming to move on it's own as one of his hands made it's way into Dean's hair as his other hand wrapped around Dean's waist and pulled him closer. Castiel's brain automatically concluded that this was the kind of physical attention he had been craving from Dean, and he sighed into Dean's mouth with the bliss that overcame him.

They pulled away after a few minutes and the bliss was still flowing through Castiel's soul. Sam was laughing from his position in the front seat, but he also looked extremely uncomfortable. Castiel wondered if this kind of touching was appropriate, but before he could ask on it, Dean was wrapping an arm around Castiel's waist and guiding the angel to rest on his chest, a movement that brought on even more bliss.

After a few moments of peaceful silence, Sam spoke up again, amusement evident in his voice.

"By the way, Dean? I told you so."

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**A/N: I hope you liked it:) Please review/follow/favorite for more!**


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